I miss you all mostly! I am having a makeover …. bear with me …. it will be worth it. I promise. xx

—–I apologize for leaving you all for so long. I’ve been in hiding, busy in my hive, transitions happening at an alarming rate, red shoes dancing madly, and memories floating to the surface like mercury on water.

I will post my journeys of April soon, but until then, I leave you with a question:

How can we not be attached? After all we’re only human. The only way is to never come back … and I wouldn’t want that. Would you? -Van Morrison

Stumbling onto the past is rather epic. I am reminded of the parable of Lot’s Wife, though I have often thought that given the same circumstances, I too would have looked back. I suppose it is a matter of timing that determines whether or not you will be destroyed but what you find there. The realities of life that have been hiding, peaceably under the shadows for long enough that their starkness, while unsettling, is not destructive since the passage of time has revealed a better future than you could have imagined at the time.

BD found an old disk containing photos from another era. At the time Pea was deep in the throes of her seizures as is evidenced by the “nests” of blankets and pillows strewn over all the floors. She was locked very deeply inside her self, a tiny spark inside a lovely shell. I never thought about these times as difficult, saving those thoughts for the crisis times rather than the day to day life. I suppose my optimism, or faith in her, kept me aloft. It is only now, in the aftermath that I see how things really were, and I am certain that there comes a time when illuminating the shadows is exactly the right thing to do. As the saying goes: in order to have healing you must have remembering.

This image is one of the loveliest that I found. It is as if the light is focused only on the essentials, burning the promise into the very bones of the man with the shadows in his eyes.

Misty Mawn has a very different and beautiful take on shadows, click here.

When I was very young I had very strong values. And I used to listen to this song and pray that I might find a soul mate that knew what the world needed, and together we would do something really big and amazing. I found that person. Happy anniversary BD…

Happy happy Ox Year to all of us. I love the Rat, really I do, it is my secret animal in Chinese Astrology, but I am so happy to see his tail end right now. Those of you who know {and, presumably} love me – {amour amour :-} also know that, last year, my sweet little chaotic patch of life was fraught with pointy opposites on the spike train axial. Or, in a gentler tone, ups and downs and everything in between. There is an old Chinese curse that says: May you live in interesting times…. and to that I say, Jane!! Stop this crazy thing! I am so ready to loll in the sweet grass with the old Ox now.

But hey (fat choy) – we survived – and even thrived! Mother bumped her head and quit smoking as a result… Ms. P. spent the summer in the hospital but came home with an unclogged drainpipe… The hellish daily parade of muddy booted workmen has dwindled … BD has managed to surf the changes of the merger so far … I still have a few hairs left on my head…and I have had some wonderful things happen too {thanks to the Beautiful Ones in my life (you know who you are.)}

The Good News

I am teaching this year!!! In three places: magical, majestic, and mythical.

Magical
In June I am joining the Beauty Makers at Squam. The prospect of teaching in this beautiful, deeply spiritual place is thrilling enough, but getting to see Poppy in her element makes it far more than ordinary magic. In this perfect world, we will be taking watercolor over to the wild side. Working big, bold and with wild abandon. How’s that for adventure travel?

Majestic
High summer will find me in the high desert, living the life I love, soaking up the sweet sweet company, and teaching watercolor at the majestic ArtUnravelled!! Yes, watercolor again, but here we will be learning how to step gently into paintings, and coming to the other side with beautiful, self reflective works of art. I am on fire for this one!!

Mythical
Mythology is bigger than us, things that happen that are so epic that we burn them into our collective memories where they live on forever. I am so very honored to have been included in the constellation of creative souls that will be teaching at the very first Journalfest in Port Townsend this October. Journalfest is the love project of Tracy and Teesha Moore, who we all know from their groundbreaking art work, and, of course, as the creators of Artfest. This is an amazing event for many reasons, but because it is a labor of love for them, it has a heartbeat that is all encompassing and a spirit that is the stuff of legends.

I will be teaching two workshops, Journaling into Painting (which I wrote about in Cloth Paper Scissors in September) and the Painted Word, a class that I’ve been dreaming about teaching forever, and whose time has finally come. I am walking on clouds. Come walk with me?

So, there it is! The news in an edamame pod…. I’ve missed you all, it’s great to be over the hump.

I’ve learned that New Year’s resolutions do not work for me. I am far too random to follow a straight line, and so, this year, I am going to work with my own nature and resolve to not make rules for the year. I feel that after the very unruly year that I’ve just passed through, little declarations are apt to vanish into the haze….so, I’ve decided to adopt a totem for 2009. The honeybee.

I love bees. The reality and the mythology. The life giving beings that they are, the honey they produce and the organized cooperation that they show us. And, their hives are the epitome of beauty and organization. My overarching theme for the year.

What is your theme?

We wish you all a year of peaceful productivity, beautiful visions, flights of fancy, and a life full of sublime sweetness. {{we love you!}}

Just before the thaw I went on a safari. I was looking for art. I wasn’t thinking of Matisse, nor the 9 Ladies Dancing verse of the 12 days of Christmas… but when I came home, frozen and snow blind, the vision came to life… I wish I could say that I was in the dark room and the magic slowly emerged, *ah, the old days* but, it was just in my iPhoto. So I wanted to share with you. Give you all the gift of serendipity. And blue light, and dancing shoes ({Pip, especially)} and the beauty and hope of the growing dancing light of these days. I love you. That is something I will not box up. Ever.

And I will retire to my melty winter’s sleep, dreaming of Iceland, and neon signs, and empty boxes. And a glimpse of my happiest place…. {xo}

Oh! I know we’re gonna be the lucky ones!

Wishing you all bright light and warm arms on this beautiful Solstice night. {xo}

In case you think I’ve been slacking, or avoiding your love, or just being aloof … rest assured. I’ve been living on the head of a pin, my world unpackaged and exploded into a massive chaos bomb blast–kitchen ground zero.

Lathe and Plaster Disaster

Old houses have such mysterious underpinnings. In our case, an extra lathe wall built in front of the original one. “Is there money hidden in there?” exclaimed BD. But, there was only an old shrimp fork and the most unattractive flesh colored plastic ring. I was just happy there weren’t bones in there.

Elbow Grease

The mystery of the painted over 1970’s wood paneled kitchen revealed! Ancient flowered wall paper that BD and I spent hours scraping off. If it had been something other than vinyl floral I may have considered leaving it.

Room with a View

A splash of color on a grey day. And, picturesque in an ugly sort of way, non?

Port in the Storm

And, I leave you with a more reassuring, hopeful image. My little sanctuary. My lifeboat. A place to breathe, to watch the nightfall, and often, witness the sunrise. The complete opposite of chaos. Balance is what it’s all about, and if I lose mine and leave gaps in these pages, just think of me here…facing East, thinking of you. xo

Poignant perfect genius. Please click here.

There’s just one favor I’ll be asking you… click